The Opinions That Shape Us: Image, Identity, and Growth

 When I was growing up, I always felt the pressure of expectations—some I knew about, and others I didn’t. But reading The Other Wes Moore really made me understand how strong those expectations can be. In the book, both Wes Moores grew up taking in the expectations around them. For Wes, the expectations from his mom, teachers, and later the people at military school slowly pushed him to aim higher. Even though he initially resisted, those expectations gave him a direction and helped him see potential in himself that he hadn’t noticed before.

On the other hand, the “other” Wes grew up in an environment where expectations worked in the opposite way. People around him didn’t expect him to succeed—they expected him to just survive. In his neighborhood, the image you carried mattered too, but for different reasons. Looking tough, being feared, or being respected on the street hardened him. He was shaped by a world that told him what he could and couldn’t be before he even had a chance to figure it out himself.

I think it’s safe to say that words do matter and have a bigger impact on people than you might realize. Not only words, but people’s opinions of you can change how you see yourself, so I guess the question is whose opinion should we let affect us the most. Growing up, I’ve learned to filter whose words I let affect me most. I started to care less about what outside people think and realized that my family and the people who want the best for me are the ones I should listen to the most. My family, my parents, would never steer me in the wrong direction because I am also a reflection of them.

 I’ve definitely felt a bit more cautious about making certain mistakes or not meeting expectations, but it’s also driven me to be a better person. I’m now more mindful of my actions, words, and thoughts, trying to see myself in a different light and anticipate how others might perceive me. I know we mentioned that it doesn’t matter, but perception is everything, right? It’s not like my parents constantly tell me what they expect, but it’s clear they’ve prepared the way for my siblings and me, giving us so many opportunities and allowing us to invest in so much. I know they care about my well-being and the opportunities I’ve had, so it would be selfish of me to ignore that or disregard their input.

That’s why I’m so careful about who I listen to now. Not every opinion needs to be in my head. When I think about how Wes Moore’s life changed after someone finally expected more of him, it reminds me that expectations can be a form of love. My parents’ expectations aren’t about pressure—they’re about possibility. They see something in me that I don’t always see in myself, and that motivates me to carry myself with pride, think ahead, and take my opportunities seriously.